Infidelity (shhh)

Yarn came in the mail, and now I'm cheating on all my other projects. Shhh...don't tell them.

I'm not cheating with this yarn, even though it is very fun. This is Mirage by Alessandra. 100% wool that is very soft, but not merino soft. Not complaining. I have enough for a sweater, maybe something out of Twinkle.



I considered sending it back to elann, but I can't do it. It's too much fun. I like the bunny rabbit on the labels. I think I'm going to save this one for next year though. The weather might be moving on around here for such a bulky one.



Now this is the source of my infidelity right here. Araucania Atacama that went on sale at elann.com on Monday and that arrived yesterday. It is 100% alpaca in a worsted/aran weight. It is alpaca-luscious and a wee bit hairy and I love these colours. Earth and sky, colour 500 in varying shades of sky and light blue, chestnut brown, and leafy greens.



Doug took one look at this stuff and said, "You could make some nice manly socks out of that." That's quite a statement coming from him.

I've cast on for a simple, light pullover to wear as a layer over t-shirts. I'm knitting with 5mm needles to get a slightly airier fabric than I would get on the 4.5 called for. Gauge is about 18/19 st to 4." I am knitting with two alternate balls every two rows to break up the variances in shading in Araucania yarns in general. I highly recommend that for garments. And I also recommend that you choose two fairly different skeins to match up each time (there tends to be a visible difference, so this is easy to do).

For example, the two balls I'm working here: one is darker in the blues and browns (with more brown); the other is lighter with a bit less brown. That gives me an even colour distribution, and will not show lines later on when I have to change balls.

I work two rows with one ball, and then two with the other, carrying the unused ball up the side. I keep them from getting tangled by having the working yarn on my right and the unused ball on my left, and cross them over when I switch (to pick up the slack). Continental knitters might need to reverse this.



It has been a soul-wearying week, following the death of our Peppo, and especially following the bizarre conversation with my dad and the follow up research and counselling I have done (as will be apparent below). The effect of knitting alpaca in these soft earthy tones of browns and gentle blues and greens on my rich Lantern Moon needles is soul-satisfying and soothing in just the right way. Exactly what is needed right now.



On a more personal note:

If you grew up in an inconsistent, painful, crazy-making family, and if you are a person who has needed mondo-dollars in therapy to cope with the fall-out of that. Or even if you have wondered. You might have had parents with narcissistic personality disorder.

I have found the following links to be very helpful:

http://loraleenewman.home.comcast.net/co_narcissism.pdf

http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/index.html

http://www.angriesout.com/grown17.htm

http://www.voicelessness.com/essay.html