Winning the Big Prize

This a true story about a friend's mother. Some names have been changed for the usual reasons. Others...well you'll get the idea.

Evelyn is a classy lady in her late sixties. An attractive, genteel woman who moves and speaks with grace and dignity, she is not a person who eats at McDonalds. Despite age, experience, and several teen-aged grandchildren, she has managed to navigate through life without exposure to certain well-known elements of popular culture.

A few years ago, the local grocery chain ran a contest: every time a shopper used their SAVE-ON MORE card, they were automatically entered to win These Fabulous Prizes. Evelyn, oblivious to the contest, was surprised one day to receive a phone call from an excited Save-On employee. He informed her that she had won THE GRAND PRIZE.

“Congratulations, Mrs. Falk,” the voice enthused, “You have won…Yoda!”

Evelyn was nonplussed. She had not adjusted to the news that she had entered a contest, let alone won the grand prize. Moreover, she had no idea what she had won. She was too polite to ask. When she cautiously announced her news to family members, they were pleased for her, but their responses did not give her any new information. “That’s so cool, Grandma!” her grandson told her over the phone, but Evelyn still did not know what she had won. She wanted very badly to inquire as to what a “yoda” was and how it would improve her life, but she was reluctant to give up her newly granted cache. Besides, she figured, all would be resolved when she received her mystery treasure.

Later that week, several family members accompanied Evelyn to the store to claim her prize. She had been told that the item was rather large and heavy, and that she might need some help getting it home. Evelyn approached the customer service desk with a sense of nervous anticipation. She wondered just how valuable the prize was.

It did not take long to find out.

The manager of Save-On greeted Evelyn warmly. He introduced her to her win: a life-sized resinite statue of Yoda, posed in full Jedi regalia, ready for enshrinement at the local sci-fi emporium. Actually, it was a larger than life-sized statue since the diminutive Jedi master mounted a two-foot tall podium. Next, the manager introduced the reporter, on hand to photograph Evelyn’s moment of triumph. The family members scattered. Except for her grandson. He graciously agreed to share the glory of posing with Evelyn and Yoda.

Evelyn’s family helped her transport Yoda home where she promptly installed him in her garage. And there he has stood these last four years, covered in a large garbage bag since, as Evelyn says, he frightens her.